I’ve photographed TONS of families. I know the drill. I know how to get genuine smiles, I know how to read a room, I know how to make people forget the camera’s even there. So when it came time to get OUR family photos taken for the first time, I figured I had this in the bag. 😅

Reader, I did not have this in the bag.

Here’s everything I learned being on the other side of the lens for once – and what actually ended up working.

Getting out the door was Sunday morning chaos, and I don’t think that’s avoidable

I want to be honest about this part because I think it’s the part nobody talks about. Getting a family, especially one with a baby, out the door for a photo session is just… chaotic. There’s no version of it that isn’t. Someone’s missing a shoe, someone needs a diaper change at the worst possible moment, someone (me) is trying to do their own hair and makeup while also being a mom.

If you’re getting ready for your own session and it feels like a mess, that’s not a sign something’s wrong. That’s just what it is. Expect the chaos, don’t fight it, and know that it has zero bearing on how the actual shoot goes.

We left an hour early so our baby could nap in the car

Our daughter is 7 months old, and our session was scheduled close to her bedtime. Instead of fighting that timing, we worked with it, we left an entire hour early so she could fall asleep in the car on the way there.

She woke up right as we arrived, which meant she came into the session rested instead of overtired and fussy. If you’re working around a baby’s schedule, I can’t recommend this enough. A nap in the car > a meltdown in front of the camera, every time.

I built the whole shoot around playing with her, not posing for the camera

This was probably the biggest mindset shift for me. I went into this session knowing I wasn’t going to spend the hour trying to get my daughter to smile at the camera. Instead, my husband and I centered the entire shoot around playing with her and giving her our full attention.

The result? About 90% of our gallery ended up being candid shots of us laughing, playing, and just being together, because that’s genuinely what we were doing. We did get a handful of sweet “everyone looks at the camera” moments too, and those are special in their own way. But the candids are the ones that actually feel like us.

If you’re planning a session with little ones, my advice is this: don’t go in trying to direct your kid into looking a certain way. Go in planning to actually engage with them, and let your photographer capture what happens.

Packing early (during nap time) made all the difference

I packed everything for our session during her nap time, a day before we needed it. Not the morning of. Not “while everyone’s trying to get out the door.” Early, calm, with time to actually think about what we needed.

This one small decision took so much pressure off the morning of the shoot. By the time we were getting ready to leave, all I had to think about was getting us dressed, not scrambling to find props, snacks, and toys at the last second.

What we packed (and why it mattered)

A few specific things made our session feel like us, instead of generic posed photos:

• Peaches. They’re her favorite food right now, and we wanted a few candid shots of her getting messy and delighted over something she genuinely loves. Those are some of my favorite images from the whole gallery.
• Her favorite books and stuffed animals. Familiar objects kept her calm, engaged, and gave us natural things to do together instead of just standing around.
• My husband’s and my own childhood stuffed animals. This one means the most to me. Having pieces of our own childhoods in the photos with her made the session feel like it was telling our whole family’s story, not just capturing one afternoon.

What I’d tell any family before their first session

If there’s one thing I’d want another family to take away from our experience, it’s this: let go of the idea that the session has to look a certain way. Let go of needing everyone to be looking and smiling at the camera at the same time. The chaos getting there is normal. The real magic happens when you stop performing for the camera and just exist together — and that’s exactly the kind of presence I try to create space for in every session I shoot.

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Planning your own family session and not sure where to start? I’d love to help you think through timing, what to bring, and how to make it feel like your family, not a stock photo. Reach out here to get started.

Shot by Esther Young Photography. Edited by me.